Bogeys, if you will

This post is for my dear friend Mallory. :) I miss you Mal, and I have definitely not forgotten you!

We all have them. They run down your nose when you have a cold. They dry up and make you snore at night. One bad experience and you are forever conditioned into checking for them.

Boogers.
Snot.
Affectionately called "bats" at the Anderson home. "You've got a bat in your cave Kenz... Left side... still there."

Boogers and I have a very strange relationship. Everyone has been caught unawares with one in plain sight on the tip of their nose. I have fallen victim to it many times--most of them within those 3 awkward years of life called "junior high".

BACK STORY: Tyson and I never officially "met". We attended the same school from 6th grade until we graduated. We were in classes together but talked only on occasion. We just knew that the other existed and nothing much came of it.

A few years later when we started dating all of this changed. We spent all of our time together and became best friends. When we were comfortable enough with each other Tyson told me his first distinct memory of me.

A booger.
Yep.

Apparently we were table partners in a class [advanced science with Palfreyman if I recall correctly] and were politely talking to each other before class. Unbeknownst to me I had a bat in my cave, hanging there for all to see. He told me,

"I couldn't stop staring at the booger cause it was bugging me. But I couldn't tell you. That would have been too embarrassing." 

I would have been mortified out of my mind at the time, so maybe it's good that I don't remember. I guess it didn't scare him away forever, so for that I'm grateful. :)

I must admit, it's a pretty great story to tell my future children. Our relationship started with a booger, can you top that?

With maturity I've found that boogers are just a natural part of life and nothing to be embarassed about. My roommates tease me about being a monkey because I pick loose hairs from anyone I meet. But rest in peace friends because if you ever have a booger in your nose I will tell you about it, because I hope that someone would do the same for me.

Now I get to the heart of this post:
Physiological Findings!

I got a text from my dear friend Mallory:

Physiological topic of interest: boogers. Bogeys, if you will. I know that they are supposed to block or catch germs or whatever, but WHY must there be so many?! Everytime I get sick or my allergies flair up, I feel like my brain is melting and dripping out of my face. Haha do you have any info for me? Why is there a never ending supply of those grody things? :)

As per request I looked up the reason we have boogers. Despite the fact that they played a key role in my current relationship [however questionable] they have to have some real function in the body.

Now I will present to you my discoveries:

As you know, mucus coats the inside of your mouth, nose, throat and into your lungs. This sticky, wet, slimy substance traps the incoming harmful particles so that we aren't sick all the time. With each breath we inhale germs, bacteria, dead skin, and all sorts of airborne things. Mucus coats these particles entirely so they cannot harm us. The prickly hairs in your nose also contribute to this effort. They catch particles and keep them from entering the lungs.

Along your nose and throat the passage is lined with cilia. These microscopic hairs push pollutants upward--away from your lungs--and into the mouth and nose where they can be swallowed or expelled from the body through coughing or blowing your nose.

Imagine, for a moment, that this system didn't exist. All of the toxins that you have inhaled in the years of your life would build up in your lungs. Perhaps they would build up so much that we would die before the age of twenty. Maybe each and every germ that entered your system would make you sick and with no way to get it out of the body, you would be sick for the rest of your short life.

Isn't this body miraculous? Even something as mundane as boogers has a purpose.

Now back to Mallory's question: Why so many?


When the body is functioning normally our mucus membranes make about 1 quart of mucus per day [source]. When we get sick it typically means that some pollutant made it past the front lines and is now in a place where it can affect our homeostasis. In order to counter this attack the body sends out white blood cells to fight the germs that made it inside. It also increases the production of mucus to ensure that nothing else makes it in. So, if our body makes 1 quart on a healthy day, how much does it make on a bad day? That, my friends, is evidenced in your garbage bag full of tissues.

Allergies are usually caused by airborne particles. Pollen, animals, even peanuts all have histamines that carry through the air. Since our principle method of breathing is through our nose, the body sends extra amounts of mucus to our nasal passages when allergens enter. Allergies in themselves are an interesting topic. They are, by definition "abnormal reactions of the immune system that occur in response to otherwise harmless substances [source]." Allergens are not naturally harmful to our bodies, but for an unknown reason our bodies react to these substances, sometimes violently.

Why is my nose running?

There are a couple different reasons why our nose runs, and they each have a different cause. [Source--This guy says it much better than I could]

You have a cold or the flu: When you have either one of these, your nose goes into mucus-making overdrive to keep the germ invaders out of your lungs and the rest of your body, where they might make you even sicker than you already are. You know what happens then: The mucus runs down your throat, out your nose, or into a tissue when you blow your nose. Or it can fill your sinuses, which is why you get that stuffy feeling.

You have allergies: Kids who have allergies get runny noses when they're around the thing they're allergic to (like pollen or animal hair). That's because their bodies react to these things like they're germs.

You're crying: When you cry, tears come out of the tear glands under your eyelids and drain through the tear ducts that empty into your nose. Tears mix with mucus there and your nose runs.

Baby, it's cold outside: When you're outside on a cold day, your nose tries its best to warm up the cold air you breathe before sending it to the lungs. Tiny blood vessels inside your nostrils open wider (dilate), helping to warm up that air. But that extra blood flow leads to more mucus production. You know what happens next. Drip, drip, drip.

There you have it! Now you can claim to be an expert on boogers, and when your future children come running with one attached to their finger, you can tell them exactly what they are touching.