The slipper didn't fit.
He came home and after a week of joy,
It was over.
Four years over in an instant.
I'm not going to pretend that it was easy because it wasn't. My life shattered and lay in millions of pieces for weeks. Those two years seemed like such a waste.
At first I was mad at him for not giving me a fair chance, for leading me on, and for altogether being stupid. Let's face it, one week off the mish is NOT enough time to make these decisions. Then I was mad at Heavenly Father for letting this happen. Why? Why did I have to wait all this time? What did I do wrong? What am I supposed to do NOW?
Once I calmed down enough to listen, Heavenly father told me. Trust. I have to trust that He knows what He is doing and that He has a greater plan in store for me.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. ~Proverbs 3:5-6
This trust thing is a hurdle, but each day it gets a little better . I've learned that there ARE decent young men out there and I'm trusting that one of them will be right for me. I've learned to trust in the Atonement and that it covers ALL pain, and Christ will comfort me. Even though it's a silly breakup, it's important to me and I trust that it is important to Him. I trust that God loves me and has a plan that is better than one I would choose for myself.
My biggest struggle was telling myself to just "get over it." But how? How do you get over it? The scriptures don't tell you how to deal with a breakup, and, contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. I was lost for a while until the answer hit me like a ton of bricks:
Forgiveness.
I needed to forgive.
The answer was staring me in the face all along, but I was looking for a miracle cure and not a "plain and simple truth". That day a weight was lifted. That day I acknowledged that I was feeling real pain. This wasn't mommy-kiss-it-better pain, or awkward teenage I-don't-fit-in. This was heart-wrenching pain. This was real. He hurt me, and I needed to forgive him. Through that process I trusted in God, and He made up the difference.
I can finally say that it has stopped hurting. All of it. I have forgiven and my heart is free.
So Tyson:
I forgive you for the two years.
I forgive you for being dumb.
I forgive you for not trying harder.
I forgive you for hurting me so deeply.
I forgive you.
And to everyone else:
Trust in God, He knows what He is doing. And don't worry about me, God is in control now!
Life will be good. Life will be fantastic.
My biggest struggle was telling myself to just "get over it." But how? How do you get over it? The scriptures don't tell you how to deal with a breakup, and, contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds. I was lost for a while until the answer hit me like a ton of bricks:
Forgiveness.
I needed to forgive.
The answer was staring me in the face all along, but I was looking for a miracle cure and not a "plain and simple truth". That day a weight was lifted. That day I acknowledged that I was feeling real pain. This wasn't mommy-kiss-it-better pain, or awkward teenage I-don't-fit-in. This was heart-wrenching pain. This was real. He hurt me, and I needed to forgive him. Through that process I trusted in God, and He made up the difference.
I can finally say that it has stopped hurting. All of it. I have forgiven and my heart is free.
So Tyson:
I forgive you for the two years.
I forgive you for being dumb.
I forgive you for not trying harder.
I forgive you for hurting me so deeply.
I forgive you.
And to everyone else:
Trust in God, He knows what He is doing. And don't worry about me, God is in control now!
Life will be good. Life will be fantastic.
